Abused

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Hi, my name is Massimiliano and I was an abused child. From the moment I was born until I was 13 year old my mother used to abuse me physically, mentally and emotionally. Finally one day I decided I had had enough and called my father and told him that he had to come and pick me up or I’d just leave the house. I put all my possessions in trash bags and went to live with him and his wife.

I hoped that that move would end my problems. I was so wrong and naïf. You can’t just leave abuse that easily behind. It follows you every day in every aspect of your life. Forever.

It’s like a shadow in your shadow: a second personality that has invested your soul and doesn’t want to leave.

It works against you and wants to destroy you.

It seems complicated but in reality it isn’t and can be resumed to this: the most important person in your life didn’t love you and human mind being so complicated it began to believe the unspoken message that you were distasteful and she was right in her behavior against you and you became the problem, the one that had to be destroyed.

Life always sends help to those who want it. A voice arose inside of me and confronted me with that choice that consciously or not we all have to make: keep fighting and follow the path of recovery or just abandon and embrace dead.

We are, each one of us, responsible of everything that happens to ourselves, the good as well as the bad. When help comes our way it’s because we created it.

I had a horrible childhood and a horrible mother. But I couldn’t give my life away because they have wounded me. It’s all in my hands and it’s my responsibility to change sadness into success.

Spending my life pitying myself would have been such a waste of life.

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~ by maxturci on May 15, 2013.

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